From our survey

The partner in the passenger seat: what 443 adults said on trust

If your partner ever receives esketamine for depression, there is a good chance you will be the one driving them home. The treatment requires it. After each dose, patients stay under observation at a certified clinic and may not take the wheel again until the following day. The spouse in the passenger seat, or in this case the driver's seat, is a quiet fixture of this kind of care.

But getting to that point runs through a different seat entirely: the one across from your partner's doctor. A survey our publisher paid for this summer shows just how central that seat is, and what it means for the husbands, wives, and partners trying to help.

The number at the center

Our survey asked 443 grown-ups from ten Midwestern states whose recommendation would make them actually try a newer depression treatment like ketamine or esketamine. Nearly three out of four, 74 percent, named their own doctor. The next closest answer, a close friend or family member, drew 18 percent. Online voices barely registered. Veterans and first responders with an online following persuaded 4 percent; ads 2 percent and podcasters 1 percent.

The sample came from the general population; couples were not surveyed as such. About 6 percent of respondents described themselves as the spouse or partner of a veteran or first responder, too few for separate results. Folded in with parents and other relatives of veterans or first responders, they form a group of 156 that named the doctor at 73 percent. The data are final and validated.

The story those numbers tell is not "partners do not matter." It is that the decision to try something new tends to crystallize in a medical conversation, and a partner's best leverage is helping that conversation happen and go well.

What the rest of the data adds

Three other findings shape how a partner might approach this.

Most people have never heard of the treatment. For 73 percent of respondents the word Spravato meant nothing at all, and another 21 percent knew the name but nothing behind it. That means your partner may not know it exists, and if you raise it by name, it could sound more like a sales pitch than you intend.

People lean open, not hostile. On first hearing about ketamine care for depression or PTSD, a third of respondents, 34 percent, described themselves as wary yet willing. Hope or curiosity drew 18 percent. Taken together that is 51 percent leaning toward openness, against only 9 percent who reacted negatively. Twenty-one percent were skeptical.

The struggle is common. Seventy-two percent reported that depression, anxiety, or PTSD had resisted standard medication either for them personally or for someone they are close to. Thirteen percent said both. For many couples, that "both" is a lived reality: one person struggling, the other carrying the weight alongside.

Where partners fit

In the survey's ranking, spouses would fall into the family and friends category, the 18 percent. That is second place, and far ahead of any media. It is also the category most likely to be heard as emotional rather than clinical. A partner's recommendation comes with the whole history of the relationship attached.

That is why many partners find more traction in these roles:

• The observer. You see the mornings, the sleep, the withdrawal. Doctors often hear a summary. You can help your partner bring specifics.
• The historian. Help record each antidepressant, the dose, the length of time, and the outcome. That record is often how a doctor decides if the depression qualifies as treatment-resistant.
• The logistics lead. Booking, reminders, rides, childcare during appointments.
• The second set of ears. If your partner wants you in the room, you can take notes and ask practical questions.

What to know about the treatment itself

The FDA has approved esketamine, marketed as the nasal spray Spravato, for two uses in adults: depression that standard antidepressants have not relieved, and, taken together with an oral antidepressant, major depression accompanied by suicidal thinking or behavior. PTSD is not one of them.

Doses happen only at certified sites. Patients are monitored for a period afterward, typically around two hours, because of possible dissociation, sedation, and blood pressure changes. Driving is ruled out until they have slept and the next day has come. Early treatment usually involves more frequent visits, which is where a partner's schedule often becomes part of the plan.

It is distinct from IV ketamine, which some clinics offer off-label, and from at-home ketamine prescribed by telehealth companies, which is also off-label and involves much less supervision. A clinician can explain which, if any, fits your partner. Brain Recovery Centers covers the Spravato visit and ride-home routine on its site.

Coverage, a practical partner question

If you share insurance, coverage may be a joint concern. It was the dominant concern in the survey: 85 percent of respondents placed insurance coverage in their top two provider factors. Just over half said they would stay on the insured path even with extra hoops, versus fewer than a quarter who would rather pay for a simpler route.

If you are the policyholder, you can call the plan and get answers on three points: coverage for esketamine, any prior authorization step, and the certified locations the plan includes. That is a useful, low-pressure contribution.

A few words that tend to help

"You have been carrying this a long time. I think your doctor should hear how hard it has been. Want me to come?"

"If there are other options, I would rather we hear about them from someone who knows your medical history."

Neither sentence names a drug. Both point toward the voice the survey says people trust most.

This is general information rather than medical advice, and any treatment may or may not help. Whether any option is right for your partner is a clinician's call.

If your partner has said out loud that they wish they were gone, or you have noticed signs that scare you, please do not carry that alone. Phone or text 988, any hour, and someone trained by the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline will help you work out the next step. For immediate danger, dial 911.

Methodology

Pollfish hosted this survey on its consumer panel at the request, and expense, of the publisher. Fielding closed June 23, 2026. The sample was n=443 adults 18 to 64 across Wisconsin, Illinois, Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Spouses and partners alone were too few to break out. Pollfish's validation is done, so the figures are final.